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Feb 2003

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  • Feb 2003


    Went to the JACKASS movie premiere thingy last night.. Not bieng a viewer of the original MTV show, i was really asking alot of the film, and it was fully sittable through! No shit.. really.. Funny in places, gross in others.. but i found most of the segments that were allegedly "too strong for television" were just replays of things i have done myself, in fact, things we have all done when bored.. So in that sense, it was great for the auld affirmation side of things.. You know.. Thing is, when we went scrambling on a golf-coarse, it was in a Renault 5 turbo, not a pair of poxy ("girly") golfcarts.. Anyway, is this a must see? yes, yes it is. Purely to prove that personality shines through no matter how much money you have, or how simple your theme or subject matter.. I really did "meet" the charicters, we all did, they were sitting 20 feet behind us _and_ 10 feet infront of us.. And get this: Conor G actually Enuffed them when they were talking during the opening scene with a savage "Shhh!!" that the whole room loved to bits!! Great fun Guys, great fun movie - it works on the level that they do the stuff most of us don`t dare do... 2 minus points: some of the "crew" reactions felt laboured in some segments, ruining the illusion of spontanious mayhem and some of the Splooms invited to the premiere were cannon fodder for the likes of me and my friends physically restrained me to prevent me from "jackassing" them.. I speak of coarse of the MANY boybands and popcrappers that were present.. some of them so exited/high on something they couldn`t sit still AT ALL and were up and down from their seats like kiddies at their first tribunal.. very distracting.. i should have been allowed to "medicne" them good.. Hehehehe.. Anyway, the claim is: WITH STUFF YOU'D NEVER SEE ON TV, well, i can`t wait for the DVD in that case!!! hehehehehehehe. as we know, DVD is the realm of the REAL meaty stuff.. "in the privacy of one's own home.. etc.."


    Major rumours this weekend re:2FM and it's future. I wish i could assure you things were in hand, but i cannot. I'm as in the dark as the rest of you. All i _do_ know is the 626 crew seems fairly safe for the time bieng. we actually LOST 1% of our listners _and_ the overall REACH shrank in the Ratings that were published this week.. that means LESS people are actually listening to the radio ("reach") therefore we seem to have lost some of you So what T.F.? I mean.. what did we do exactly? (besides bieng shite occationally) eh? why would someone simply STOP using their radio? That is plain stupid!! There is NO other entertainment medium in the world that is so accessable and cheap!! think about it, you can buy a good radio for 5 euro, and as long as you can power it (not needed with a clockwork one..) you have FREE entertainment for the life of the radio! That has to be the best deal, next to a broadsheet newspaper, which is equally portable, equally cheap and excellent for wrapping chips, lining bird-cages and cleaning up catshit, on the planet today.. So, sorry you are loosing interest in the radio,i can`t say i blame you, i personally only listen to 5-7 live on radio 1, joe duffy on radio 1, jay ahern & 626 on 2FM and BBC radio 5 live in the car, oh, and Nova, Power (or whatever it calles itself), Jazz (if they are playing decent gear - now more often then you'd expect, ollie is mellowing in his old age..) and SUN since it's the "soundtrack of my youth" and all that,if i am in the city centre.. But it's all relative to what i can actually get, and what situation i am in.. Right now, i`m in the shack, doing the Tuesday thing, listening to ORBIT ROCK on the WORLDSPACE network, and it's the Bollocks! Album-tracks in a rock stylee, mostly mad prog, and with very little interruption from the likes of U2 or Europe or whoever.. loads of mad Tom Petty album trax and full-length Floyd and Zep.. lovely for a rainy afternoon in the forest Basically, i cannot WAIT `till digital takes off.. then 626 can go 7-days a week, and we can have the music we want, when we want it.. mmmm... whaaat weee waaaant...Anyway, i`m assured we in 626 are safe from the current plague of axing thinly disguised as resignations, and am assured that if we are laid off, we won`t have to pretend we wanted it to happen,and we can go straight to the tabloids with storys of bullieng, devil worship, human sacrifice and extreme catering (bungee-jumping coffee afternoons, high-velocity colonic irrigation tea-mornings, ritual slaughter cookery circles etc..) and the full truth on the infamous underground RTE archives that contain the tormented & trapped souls of those that were "absorbed" in the crude 1960s & 1970s willy-wonka style live-television experiments.. er... anyone want to start a Pirate UHF television station? I think i have a rig that may work..

    Weekend Playlist for Mr.Spring`s Show on 2FM's 6:2:6,
    ( TX: 220203/20.00-22.00


    Firen` Squad, Squaddies: jay cisco (foxy browns beotch), Scott mcNaughton (proudly the mack), Tony Mullen (enigma's shaft)

    *west london deep/gonna make you my lover - future groove - 54%
    12fgro25r/wri:hedger & thatcher//notting hill
    *perpetual motion/keep on dancing 2003 - white - 38%
    kod2003/wri:manston//cop con
    *nightmares on wax/70's & 80's - warp - 45%
    wap160p/wri:nightmares on way//warp music & emi music
    *queen vs. vanguard/flash - EMI - 63%
    724354694561/wri:may//queen music ltd.
    *chac/7 years - decode - 24%
    deftel005p/wri:harding//tonkin music


    *tom wax/my definition - phuture wax pwr005rsp
    *uli poppelbaum/stereo poems vol1(fear & loathing) - clubgroove cgr025
    *max b grant/technopumpin - editiontraxx etx-0012
    *drugface/fat as fu*k - bulletproof proof 020
    *4 navigators/marijuana - stik stk086
    *titanic brothers/hypnotised - stik stk082
    *technoboy/tales from a vinyl - titanic ttc015
    *klone/exited - green force gee028
    *dj dean/protect your ears - epic tr3074
    *void/dark side of the moon - leaded 039

    ### Pointless Statistics: Squad Satisfaction Index: 45.6 Lowest Average: 42 [tony mullen] Highest Average: 48 [jay cisco]

    Gr8 Laff in Athlone hav 2 say.. Cept for the trampoline dex, and random alien noises on the P.A., was sortof like a WWF wrestling match News from DJ Liberty, Looks like The mix For Him is Coming out!

    Mmmm.. smileys all round then.. And that solves the problem of getting texts to play it again on the radio.. Which i wasn`t gonna do, since that would be taking the piss if the mix wasn`t to be used..


    Yes, it is confirmed. ATHLONE for the Sunday-night Ragweek Massacre. Apparently i knew about this all along. Right. Sure. And I`m badly informed it's CASTLEBAR next friday. are having some sort of sale thingy with a bunch of stuff at 5 euro a shot, and a meaty SECOND HAND section now as well!!! Oh yes.. go forth and seek those classix you know you should have bought when you first heard them.. and so on..


    Weekend Playlist for Mr.Spring`s Show on 2FM's 6:2:6,
    ( TX: 150203/20.00-22.00


    Firen` Squad, Squaddies: Al redmond (transformer), Ray the Chips (flush), Brian Carney (you may know me from..), Mark Armstrong (the lexicon of avenue)

    *alison david/dreams come true(k-klass) - white - 15%
    alisonDJ1/no details - whitelabel
    *simple minds/spaceface - absolutly - 56%
    abr036/wri:kerr & kelly//mardarin music
    *ri ra/25 o'clock in the morning - all city - 51%
    ac101/wri:gheoghan//cop con
    *grand popo football club/men are not nice guys - aristadance - 21%
    popo1/wri:errera & wizman//atmospheriques editions
    *moby/sunday - mute - 44%
    p12mute280/wri:hall & robinson//little idiot music
    *artificial funk/together - skint - 73%
    skint82xp/no details//cop con

    *matrix vs. goldtrix/trippin' - white trip002
    *wayne G/twisted - it's fabulous itsa1205
    *james brown/funk on a roll - inferno eag 12127
    *inner city/big fun(lingo) - PIAS piasx025R
    *angel 1/hold me tonight(eniac) - epic 6734990000
    *perpetual motion/keep on dancin' - white kod2003
    *dial m for moguai/beat box - tripoli trax ttrax092
    *dopeman/hardbazz powah! - scantraxx 004
    *max b grant/tekknopumpin - etx 0012

    ### Pointless Statistics: Squad Satisfaction Index: 41.1 Lowest Average: 34 [brian carney] Highest Average: 41 [alredmond & mark armstrong]

    note: S.I. includes adjustment for late arrival of Mark armstrong who missed the 1st 3 tunes due to unforseen interference by a major airline and the staff at 2 international airports.

    Major Cruise this weekend.. Bieng a saturday night, i had to work so missed the _actual_ cruise.. saw SOOO many people heading down the coast-road to Waterford for it though.. loads of wax and banging!! FlushBus and Fastcar were both there i can confirm.. as were thousands of ireland's thrashingist rides.. speaking of thrashing, i was lucky enuf to take part in a controlled thrashing of my motor saturday afternoon.. a bunch of motars went on the rollors for a bit of the auld Headcount in the corrall angle.. i was quite pleased with my results, as were the others involved.. Large enuffings to THE DOC and ELVIS who chickend out/had good excuses not to bring their beemers (an Alpina 25 and 635csi respectivly), which was your folly fools since the winner on the day was Keef's Flippy Beemer with 179 at the fly.. Ah well.. I think the day will be in the next issue or 2 of Flushbus, which, incidently is going monthly!! As you do.. One SpEcIaL thing that happend last week was Joe Duffy on RTEs Post-lunchtime-pints rowfest "liveline" did the "Boy racer" thing on friday (i think), when members of the public rang in and had a go at those of us that work for our cars.. Very funny really.. most of the callers thought they were on to complain about bad learner drivers, speeding fiends and joyriders.. Joe himself had a firm grip on the script, and had to keep calming people down as they audibly foamed at the mouth while having a go at youth.. very disturbing sometimes, so many "pub experts" spouting absolute rubbish and totally missing the point.. i do think the subject will run and run on talk radio for some time to come, simply because people's opinions are so polarised - either you know someone in the scene or you don`t, and if you don`t you are practicly invited to vent all your fear-gasses about motoring thinly disguised as something relating to cruise meetings!! It's Sooooo easy.. Unlike another topic of discussion, like, for example, domestic violence or the bleeding war, you don`t need to know ANYTHING about cars to have a go at a boy racer.. you just need a gob and a healthy dislike for people that have something nice that you do not, ie: a nice car. Some of you may be wondering why Joe was so "down the middle" on the issue of modified motars, well, i can exclusivly reveal why.. He drives an r33 skyline! Chrome deep-dish 18s, A very subtle Bombex Kit sprayed in Matt black, and from the sound of it, some nice Nismo Bits under the (matching) carbon bonnet.. He's actually hoding off on any more mods as he's about to trade up to a "delivery-milage only" r34 special edition in Metallic Blue with SatNav and a drinks cabinet.. G'wan the Duffulator!

    Opera 7 is out now.. it`s the fastest browser for the PC out there, still, and now features An Anti-Microsoft Implant that un-does the Deliberate damage to HTML code that Microsoft embed into their own sites (MSN, Hotmail etc..) to stop people accessing them properly with non-microsoft browsers.. You now have no excuse to switch over. A more in-depth Explination can be found here.. I must warn you, you won`t like what you find.


    Weekend Playlist for Mr.Spring`s Show on 2FM's 6:2:6,
    ( TX: 080203/20.00-22.00

    Firen` Squad, Squaddies: DJ Ted (golden cleric), paul allen (american psycho), shane flirt (FM), Nigel H (meaty boy)

    *dirty vegas/i should know - credence - 35%
    12creddj019/wri:harris,harris & smith//EMI music pub.
    *def-e/the colllective EP one - colllective - 52%
    colllect001/wri:macneil & drake//cop con
    *massive attack/special cases - virgin - 17%
    vstdj1839/wri:massive attack/emi music pub.
    *iio/in the end? - white - 39%
    iio011/wri:iio//cop con
    *nu circles feat emma b./what u need! - eastwest - -81% (minus 81%)
    ew258t/wri:lysandrou & adimora//servechilled,emi music & cop con.
    *insider/unification - safety in numbers - -116% (minus 116%)
    sin005/wri:insider//cop con

    *gardeweg/i need more - kosmo k293
    *dial m for moguai/beat box - tripoli trax ttrax092
    *dj liberty/magica - white/no details
    *andrew si/my style - stik 066
    *technoboy/tales from a vinyl - titanic ttc015
    *mad creatures/circle of darkness - uberdruck ued11
    *max b grant/tekknopumpin - etx 0012
    *a.s.y.s/from past to phuture - tracid traxx ttx2043

    ### Pointless Statistics: Squad Satisfaction Index: 0.6 Lowest Average: -60 [nigel h] Highest Average: 37 [paul allen]

    note: this weeks SI was tainted heavily by 2 massive minus marks awarded by the squaddies in disgust, a minus 500 and a minus 100. If these are treated as zero, the SI reads : 25.7, better then 0.6, but still piss poor i'm sure you will agree.. this is perticularly disturbing in a week we had some major players and sure-sellers up against the wall.. it seems what is guaranteed is no longer such..


    The latest 626 Clubchart is here.. A clip of Voyager 1.7 is here in .wma form (windoze schmedia splayer).. It shipped last week, so it should be in your local vinyl-pusher's emporium as you read this, but if you get the blank expression, go for juno, they have it under the name "MR SPRING: Universal 2003 (Spring Recordings)", which is nice..

    So did we all see the Launch of BBC3 lastnight? amazing huh? er... em... i bet the lads in TV3-ireland are pished off with the Beeb robbing all the kewl "magic number" identity and so on.. I wonder has anyone ever sued the beeb for idea theft? Can you do that for things like identity? I`m sure the BBC are damaging the good wholesome image that TV3 have established over the years.. in fact, IMHO, besides the SWEENEY, the closedown sequence on TV3 was the highpoint of the sched in the early days.. (sigh) I know, TV3 should rebrand themselves as THE REAL TV3, or TV3+.. or how about TV3-EX? But anyway, the Springer verdict on the NEW BBC3--> Pretty much like a ropey bank-holiday special on BBC2, very sloppy, timing dreadfull, continuity worse then a 1970's Bollywood stinker, and if it wasn`t for SWISS TONY (in line as the new pope), and COOGAN's outstanding Live show, which was both funny and horrifieng, and the fact that BIG BROTHER'S LITTLE BROTHER BLOKE is now on the firm, it`d be just another number on the Digibox you pass by before reaching the conclusion that there is F*ck-all on the box, again.. Good? well, it`s promising, but feels like an extension to BBC2, without the high-brow bits and devoid of snooker.. An improvement. Except for yer man JOHNNY THINGY and his strange swinging-jaw, unfortunatly he seems to have undone JOOLS HOLLAND's excellent ground-breaking live television standards that were set on THE TUBE in the day,you know, the "it's live so it`s alright to be no bloody good" thing.. this worked so well all those years ago, as long as there was a payload to drop at the end of the chaos.. sadly, the chatshow thing has been reduced to self-destruction activity now for kicks.. The Guests know it, the Presenter knows it, the audience know it - it`s all been done, alot. Too much. Now stop it please. We don`t want to look at someone sitting in a chair dancing around plugging their new book/sexcrime/movie anymore.. Please stop it now. It's terribly bad. the only points to be scored now are from announcing "i`m only here to plug my new book/sexcrime/movie" while the host tries to divide his brain between panic thoughts that the chat is stale and rapidly de-hydrating and fending off screams of panic from the control room to "..for fuc*s sake interrupt him and use some of the material we rehearsed,or else there will be no link into the silly Video insert that is coming next.." etc.. Oh please can we have something else instead of chatshows? i know they are cheap.. but so is bullfighting, public floggings (a big winner on a saturday nights in the middle east on TV) and live coverage of hijackings.. i know i'd much rather see a hijacking or a good seige then hear about something i can do without.. there Actually IS a way to do it well.. Imagine TED RODGERS or JIMMY TARBUCK or HECTOR O'H or WINK MARTINDALE hosting the show where we get to meet the perpetrators of the hijack/seige and then the Special forces commander in charge of the incident and then all vote on the outcome.. We could Dial different numbers to tool up the opposing sides.. the cash from premium rate lines would go towards the Budget for the Big fight at the end of the show.. Our calls could finance a bloodbath fro our televisual entertainment!! Specialop's Commander to WINK: "I'm hopin the folks back at home will ring our number real hard tonight wink, we are hoping to get enough calls to deploy some really fancy nerve-gas that will make them crap themselves.. nothin worse then goin into combat with your pants full of warm runny poo.." and the retort from the head-perp "we really need the support of all our fans tonight wink, we hope to raise enough to buy night-vision sights for our weapons so we can turn out the lights and play 'peek-a-boo' later on..." Savage.. We could even control robots with our keypads on bonus missions!! ...then the probable spin-off show would be like COURT-TV where the Perps are tried for the crime or the Law are in the dock for excessive force and so on.. we could even do an OSBOURNES on the judge as he flits from brothel to crackhouse doing "research".. of coarse there would have to be a theme song, a show to coose it, and animated version, and possible a theme park and touring theatre-show involving animals and ice-skates.. yes.. and we can all pay for it with phonecalls to premium-rate telephone lines and out Television licence-fees.. I do hope when the national broadcast services switch over to digital multiplexes and can cram 10 channels into the space 1 used to occupy, we, the people, will be alowed put out own television stations into the network! heh heh.. [cue:sound of plot hatching and devouring it's mother..]


    So.. went back up to the studio yesterday.. Wasn`t meant to or anything, i mean, i hadn`t planned it.. I'd actually planned getting up, eating brekfast, then going straight back to bed again.. as you do.. but.. er.. well.. I got the urge.. And DJ LIBERTY sent me some bits from a tune called "majica" he's working on.. so.. er.. i just had to (gulp) GO TO WORK..this is totally in contradiction of my new-year's resolution, which was "to stay in".. I have decided that "WORK=PAIN", so i was going to just, you know, dissapear for a year, as a tax dodge.. you know? if i lie still for long enough i could be declared legally dead, and that could mean BIG money in back-catalogue sales and tribute shows where i could clean up as a Me impersonator.. I reckon i could handle staying in bed for a year.. After all, it`s for a good cause.. etc.. Anyway, i'll drop the result (maybe) on the radio 2moro night, just as a tester, as you do..but it's one of those things that just "happend", you know.. not as in when you shag your bird's mate, you know the old excuse: "i never meant to do it, it just happend..", cos thats a little bit difficult to believe.. i mean, HOW exactly did it just "happen"?? Let me guess.. you were both caught in a miniture typhoon which whipped your clothes off, and the brisk wind sexually eXited you both and you tripped and fell into "the position"??? and because it was all in the eye of a raging whirlwind it happend again and again?? Mmm.. no.. definatly not that kind of "happen", more like the sort of "and the next thing i know my trousers are missing..and it`s 6 in the morning.." kind of happen.. seriously, i only meant to do some prep on the samples He sent, and well, you'll hear.. the thing just mushromed into (spinal tap mode:ON) a serioously loud happening.. Lovely Monowave bassline.. ohhh... (melt..) it's fuuuuuuun.


    Weekend Playlist for Mr.Spring`s Show on 2FM's 6:2:6,
    ( TX: 010203/20.00-22.00


    Firen` Squad, Squaddies: Derek Duff (now in a sugarfree lite version), Paddy Sheridan (diverting traffic),DJ Pressure (rez fullfilment proceedure execution)

    *junior senior/move your feet(mantronik) - mercury - 38%
    juniordj3/wri:junior senior//universal music (DK)
    *jason nevins vs. rakim/i know you got soul - whitelabel - 9%
    nev1za1/wri:eric b. & rakim//cop con
    *leben/day 1 - relative records - 19%
    relrec002/wri:gold//cop con
    *matrix vs. goldtrix/trippin` - trip - 45%
    trip002/wri:goldtrix//cop con
    *moloko/familiar feeling - echo - 36%
    ecdj1312/wri:brydon & murphy//chrysalis music

    ### new feature for 2003 !! - Pointless Statistics!! ##

    Squad Satisfaction Index: 29.4 Lowest Average: 19 [duff] Highest Average: 43 [pressure]

    *space tribe/heart beat EP - spirit zone 138
    [special mix presentation featuring: heart beat/all senses vibrating/tweaked eyeballs/the acid test/lights in the sky]
    *jf sebastian/lost in yesterdays - guardian angel 510-5
    *dj pumphead/ghettoblaster EP - a.c.i.d. tracks 010
    *mad creatures/circle of darkness - uberdruck 11

    So.. there we are then, the squad back on the radio after the break.. and i have to say it's almost good to be back I hope we all enjoyed the little trip down trippy lane for the triptastic triptronik tripalistic hardtriptrance tripathon after el squaddo.. i just dig that stuff every once in a while, pure midless evolving bollocks.. 100% mongo musak and proud of it.. nothing less then 142bpm and hard as nails.. it's amazing how ridiculously silly the hardest hard-house on the bloc sounds next to a bit of Psy-trance innit? I keep forgetting that.. ho hum.. i think the future is in Psy-trance, again.. every 3 years or so it comes back to save us, and i think 2oo3 is one of those years.. "PeeTee is the laddie" - it's official.

    New STATS for the Squad.. it's about time we had some in-depth analysis of the scores awarded.. so i`m gonna compile the SQUAD SATISFACTION INDEX weekly.. it'll be like the DOW JONES INDEX for dance music releases.. if it falls week-on-week, it's a pretty good indication we are loosing our grip, if it rises, things are looking up.. basically, it`s an index of scene life itself and our satisfacion with, with respect to the mallet/the noise..It's a simple calculation, i add up the totals awarded (not averages) for each tune,and express the figure as a percentage of the maximum total possible - simple really.. the higher the number, the better the quality of the scene that weekend, to a maximum of 100%.. makes sense? good! Also i`m gonna publish the "high" and "low" average marks awarded to let you know the extremes we are using for the calculation... this weekend, derek duff was in "everything is shite" mode,averageing only 19 points per tune, and pressure was the most optomistic, managing a conservative 43 point average.. Overall, the weekend was below average, registering a S.I. of 29.4 (442 of a max 1500), so, we need grinds...

    Traffic report: In January, we managed to take 23,170 hits, averaging 747 hits a day with the following cuntries forming the TOP 30 Springnations January 2oo3!!

    1 Unresolved/Unknown
    <<< aLieNS aGaiN

    2 US network
    3 Ireland
    4 US Commercial
    5 United Kingdom
    6 Netherlands
    7 Germany
    8 Italy
    9 Belgium
    10 France
    11 Austria
    12 Japan
    13 Australia
    14 US Educational
    15 Spain
    16 Canada
    17 Poland
    18 Czech Republic
    19 United States
    20 Switzerland
    21 New Zealand (Aotearoa)
    22 Brazil
    23 Denmark
    24 Hungary
    25 Estonia
    26 Non-Profit Organization
    27 Russian Federation
    28 Greece
    29 Malaysia
    30 Sweden

    So, we are still attracting more people with Firewalls/creatures from another dimension then normal 4-limbed, 2-eyed carbon-based entities.. nice.. oh, and I have been informed by a reliable source, that US EDUCATIONAL is actually a cover for US goverment security services and NON-PROFIT ORGANISATION a covername for either the Mafia or The Vatican library, so, nice to have you on board lads.. Hope you are loving it..
    jUst plAythAtbEAt